You supported local restaurants during the shutdown. Don’t worry, Santar thinks your pandemic weight is sexy.

You muted your mic on that mid-virtual-meeting bathroom break. 2022 will be your year.

Santar loves Christmas music, but thanks for waiting until after Thanksgiving to play Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas.”

You shared 50% less food photos on Instagram. Santar smiles upon thee.

You put on actual pants during the pandemic. Even just once. Santar blesses you with good fortune in 2022.

Self love looks great on you. 200 likes on your next Insta selfie.

To some, sharing your Netflix password might be “stealing,” but Santar considers it “generosity.”

You bought the mall Santa a latte. You’re at the top of the nice list.

You resisted the urge to argue politics on Facebook. And you voted. Santar smiles upon thee.

Your memes kept Santar laughing this year. Expect a happy and fun 2022.

No deodorant during the pandemic was a bold move. But at least it kept people 6 feet away.

Word on the street is that you watched the English dubbed version of Squid Game. 10lbs of reindeer droppings for you.

This is for all the Facebook game requests you sent in 2010. I didn’t forget.

Heard you left out almond milk for Santa last year. Santar curses your “good side” on your christmas card.

You had fast-food every day for a week. You’re cursed to eat raw kale and cilantro smoothies for 7 days.

You supported local restaurants during the shutdown. But did you leave a tip? Coal for you!

Did your Wi-Fi really crash during that virtual meeting? Forget coal. Expect 10lbs of reindeer droppings.

You took a screenshot of your friend’s NFT. Don’t be surprised when your WiFi doesn’t connect.

Let’s face it: you’re the reason Santa has a naughty list. You know what you did.